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It isn't your fault
that you're being bullied. Most of the time, the bully is jealous of what
you may have that he will never have- it might be good-looks or smart. Tell yourself you don't need to change
an inch of yourself and of who you are.
If you happen to be bullied, here are
some tips on how you can stop it:
- Talk to someone about the problem that you
can trust- this may be your teacher, older family member or friend, school
counsellor or your parents.
- Take a record of events
and write down everything as it happened, without exaggerating or
fantasizing the event. By doing this, you are making what happened seem
bigger than it is and if you're caught out, it can be really hard to be
trusted the next time you report being bullied. How you felt
and what was said or done to hurt you are all important
things to write down.
- If possible, avoid the bully or bullies and
try to stick around a group of friends when you don't feel
safe.
- If they are willing and able, get people
to keep an eye out for you, especially your mates.
- Even if you may not feel it, act more
confident, and let the bully think that what he or she is doing isn't
getting to you. Bullies feed off the reactions of others so
don't let the bullies see you are upset about them bullying
you.
- Most, if not all, schools have
an anti-bullying policy and strategies to combat bullying. Make
sure you check the different anti-bullying techniques your
school has to offer and use them to your advantage. Some may
include 'bullying boxes', where recounts of bullying are placed and then
later discussed over in a student and teacher committees; the
school may assign students and teachers to help other students
faced with bullying; and the school may be actively encouraging students
to report bullying. If these are available, use them to get help.
- If you are talking to an adult about
you problem, which is hard, get one of your friends to
accompany you or, if you are too shy, get someone to speak to on your
behalf.
- Try to be assertive about your
situation, not aggressive. Remember, bullies love the reaction- it's
'fun'.
- Say 'no' really firmly to the bully and then
walk away. It may seem to everyone that you're running away but it's
difficult for the bully to continue on bullying someone who won't stay to
listen.
- If you're clever and can think quickly,
make a joke of the situation. Think of funny or smart replies
beforehand but they don't have to be overly brilliant, it just
helps to have a reply at hand. This works best when your bully isn't too
threatening and just needs to be put off. The bully will then assume you
are toosmart to pick on and doesn't bother
anymore.
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Lastly, and most
importantly, do something. While sometimes bullying may stop
quickly, doing nothing means it might continue on
until eventually someone is seriously injured or
upset. They are unlikely to stop if their behaviour isn't
challenged by someone. If the first few people you try to speak with
give up on you and don't help, persist and find someone who will
help you.
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